Yucking it up

Men's Heath isn't just for men. I came across this Web site recently through links from another blogger and I've been enjoying it. So far, my favorite is the "Ask the Sex Professor" column.

The person that answers the questions is Debby Herbenick, M.P.H., Ph.D. She is a sex researcher and educator at Indiana University. Now, if that isn't a great gig. Why didn't I think of that when I was choosing my major?

Here's one of my favorites:

Kevin, Los Angeles, CA asks
Q: Is it possible for a woman to have an orgasm and not make that much noise?

Ask the Sex Professor Answers:
Absolutely. If you want her to speak up, make a few noises of your own so she feels she's in good company. Wetness, muscular contractions, and toe curling are common signs of women's orgasms; arias are optional.

I've read quite a few of Debby's answers and I typically think they are great. However, in this case, my first instinct was that she misunderstood the question.

The way I read the question, Kevin wasn't wanting his woman to "speak up", he's wondering where the down volume button is. It's hilarious to me to think that someone could be so selfish and shortsighted to hope that his partner would keep quiet during sex.

I have a solution for you Kevy. Suck in bed. Don't give her orgasms and things will get quiet. Real quiet. Like, so quiet, it's likely that she's not in the room and is looking for orgasms elsewhere.

Or, get yourself a nice, quiet replacement. She's low maintenance, I swear.

Maybe I'm wrong. Perhaps Kevin is simply wanting to make sure he is giving his partner orgasms. Perhaps she is so quiet he's not sure she's getting the whole package deal.

I have a solution for that too. Ask her. I know it's a wild concept, but it is amazing what it all little communication can do.