Waiting for it Wednesday No. 24

This week's Waiting for it Wednesday interview comes from Teacher in heels, who blogs at After School Monologues. I'll let her introduce herself:

Heels: Ok .... so Holly sent me these questions back when she was still anonymous and before it was revealed that an author was among us! I must admit I struggled answering these questions. I was overcome with a bit of shyness or fear or apprehension or a combination of the three. Hopefully, you will all not be bored.

DFP: You said you were over 30 when you finally "did the deed", tell us how that first time was.

Heels: Actually, it was quite good. He was a very skilled lover and took his time. Very attentive and made sure I was taken care of, even though he had no clue I was a virgin. I will admit I had a drink or two to steady my nerves. It was the "first time" for both of us (more on that later) He brought wine and candles and was a complete gentleman. Sexually I tried to act like I knew exactly what I was doing at every moment, faked being a wanton woman and tried to enjoy the moment .... there was a lot going on!

DFP: How old is "over 30"?

Heels: I was between 30 and 35 .... is that specific enough?

DFP: Was your first time with someone you were in a long-term relationship with at the time?

Heels: My first time .... oh my .... this may get me chastised by a few folks. It was someone I met on Craigslist in Casual Encounters. I decided I wanted to have sex and did. Now it is important to understand, that even though this was someone from the Internet, I was completely safe about it. And if anyone wants pointers for safety just ask .... I have lots of them. We ended up having sex on and off for about two years are still friends to this day. He wanted to live out a fantasy of meeting a stranger in a hotel, I wanted to lose my virginity, so it worked at the time and in the moment. Neither of us had used Craigslist before so there were lots of first time nerves for him as well. In reality we are both very sane people and have often
laughed fondly about that first adventure together. And yes, I did finally admit to being a virgin and he was floored! He had no idea and kept thinking I was teasing him.

DFP: Was it worth the wait?

Heels: For me it was no longer about the fantasy of losing my virginity in the perfect situation, but finally doing it and getting over it.

DFP: Do you have any regrets or is there anything you would change if you could?

Heels: I wish I had just made the decision and done something like I did in my late 20s rather than wait til my 30s. I do not regret the man or the how, but I do regret the wait.

DFP: What are the reasons that you waited as long as you did?

Heels: To be honest I spent a long time thinking no one would ever want to have sex with me. The whole "I am fat and ugly and have no friends" self talk, when in reality I know I am an attractive female (to some) and I have loads of friends. Also, I became aware of sex and sexuality at a rather young age. For example, I can recall coming downstairs to say good night to my parent's friends after a dinner party and was already in a night shirt and the man leaving making a comment about how nice my legs were as he said good night to me. I was ten or eleven at the time. In hindsight I feel this also pushed me away from sex for a while. And once I was in my twenties and out of college, I went through a stage of thinking it was just too late for me. To be brutally honest I went almost fifteen years without even kissing a man. Somehow (thankfully), I came to me senses in my thirties and awakened the sexual creature within and took fate into my own hands.

DFP: Was it a choice or circumstance?

Heels: A combination of both. I had made a choice that I was not good enough to have sex with and therefore kept myself out of circumstances where sex may have been available.

DFP: Did you ever feel embarrassed or worried about being a virgin past the age of 30?

Heels: Oh I had lots of thoughts and feelings about it. And most everyone assumed I had lost my virginity in high school to a long term boyfriend and I never corrected them. So basically no one had any clue at all. Now my worry is being a skilled enough lover someday for a long term partner/lover/husband. But hopefully that person will love me enough, that I can tell my story and we can have lots of fun adventures together. Plus I have a ton of sex to make up so he has to be ready for that too .... lol.

DFP: What do you think children should be told about sex?

Heels: As a high school science teacher in a large public school district no topic about human anatomy is off limits for me. If students ask questions, I give them facts,
encourage them to talk to their parents and make sure whatever decision they make is their own, not based on peer pressure.

DFP: What about your sex ed as a child? Was it adequate or helpful? Who did it come from?

Heels: Science runs in the family and I was an early reader ... I think I was about seven when I picked up an issue of my mother's Cosmopolitan Magazine and read an article on "Making Love." So of course I went and asked my mom and she explained it to me.

DFP: Has your upbringing, cultural background or religious beliefs, had any impact about your past or present attitudes on sex?

Heels: Oh ... you mean that I am a "recovering Catholic?" I think religion had to do with my decision more in high school. But then I had a really cool priest who was willing to talk frankly about sex (the coolest priest I ever knew) .... and the religious aspect became less scary for me. My parents were very loving and affectionate which provided me with a great relationship example growing up. My issues with sex were and are my own.

DFP: Any advice for a sexually frustrated virgin?

Heels: To take control of your own destiny. If sex is something you want to explore then go for it. I think too many people get caught up in the "fairy tale" of the first time and have unrealized expectations. As callous as it sounds I think people may have it a bit easier if they treated it like an experiment.

DFP: Any other relevant information you would like to share?

Heels: I think I struggled with answering these questions more than I should have. I guess I still have some embarrassment about the fact I waited. I honestly feel that pole dancing and blogging has changed me in a way that I feel braver about my sexuality, being a woman and my size. If anyone has any questions they are free to visit me at my blog or email me directly (teacherinheels@gmail.com)