Waiting for it Wednesday No. 25

Back by popular demand is Waiting for it Wednesday. I haven't done this in a while but I have received some emails about it lately. So, I revamped my WFIW submission requirements and am now posting my first interview.

G, a 22-year-old reader answered my questions. He is not a virgin.

DFP: First off, give us your definition of a virgin.

G: Someone who hasn't had vaginal sex yet. 40-year-old virgin style. Strictly speaking, being a virgin does not necessarily encompass having done all manner of things except for vaginal sex, but I guess according to current social opinion and precepts, that's what I'm basing my definition on.

DFP: In general, where do you think the concept of waiting for marriage is in society?

G: In US society, I would say it's all over the place. There are some people who get married as soon as they're legally allowed to, and there are those who won't settle down until they've accomplished what they wanted in their careers.

DFP: Tell us about your first time having sex, including how old you were at the time. Was it with someone you were in a committed relationship with?

G: I was 19, and really nervous. I had just started seeing someone (whom I would go on to be with for the next 2 1/2 years).

DFP: Was it a good experience? Is there anything you regret about it?

G: It was a very good experience. I wasn't her first, but I think she had some preconceived notions of how I'd be, and I threw her for a loop. The first time took awhile because the bed we were on was angled much too high. It did a lot for her, but it kept me from going over the edge. Subsequent sessions showed her just how much a virgin could teach her. I temporarily paralyzed her thumb and chin using only my fingers-it's something I'm pretty proud of, considering it was only my second time with her.

DFP: Looking back, do you feel you were ready to have sex at that time?

G: I don't know if I was ready to have sex or not, but it's certainly not something I regret.

DFP: Is there anything you wish you had known before you had sex?

G: ALWAYS make sure she cleans up after sex, especially when using condoms. UTI's (Urinary tract infections) are no fun.

DFP: Has your upbringing, cultural background or religious beliefs, if any, had an impact about your past or present attitudes on sex?

G: My opinion on sex is my own. I can't say that any part of my upbringing has influenced my views on it.

DFP: How important is sex to you in a relationship?

G: Very. It's what keeps people connected. As long as each person is comfortable with the other and what is going on, sex is mutually enjoyable. It allows you to let the other person know just how you feel about them, even if you can't verbalize or express it in another way.

DFP: Do you have children? What do you think children should learn about sex and at what age?

G: I don't think I have any children. If I do, I need to have a serious talk with my ex. As much as it is a personal choice to have sex, it's certainly not something that should be done during the early to mid teenage years, especially not irresponsibly. Sex Ed in schools worked for me, but maybe it was because I actually paid attention in class. I know others didn't, and last I heard, they dropped out of school and had a kid. I don't think the concept of teaching abstinence works though. Scaring them into thinking that having sex at a young age is a sin or whatever won't overcome the inevitable physical attraction to one another. We as humans, are relatively base creatures. When we have a desire for something, it's really hard to have the willpower to overcome it. In today's world of instant gratification, teaching abstinence does not fit the social model anymore. So I think teaching safe, responsible sex is more of the way to go. Kids will do it anyway, so they might as well do it right.

DFP: Any advice for someone that has not yet lost their virginity?

G: Don't give in to peer pressure. You have to be comfortable with yourself before you can be comfortable being so close with another human being. Sex is just sex, which is purely physical, but if you add mutual emotion into the mix, that's a high you'll never want to come down from.

DFP: Why did you want to participate in Waiting for it Wednesday?

G: Holly the DFP has a very good site. I understood what she meant when she described all of her emotions about sex. So in return for good reading, I thought I'd participate.