One size doesn't always fit all

Let's be clear here. Other than the one in my husband's pants, I don't have a cock. And since I'm on birth control we have rarely used condoms. So don't know a lot about the little guys.

However, when C emailed me with a question about putting a condom on, I was willing to do some research to see if I could help him. C was the reader that emailed me a question that inspired my series, Basic Sex Tips for guys. In it, I suggested that it was a good idea to practice putting on a condom in the safety and privacy of your home so you aren't nervous or confused that first time.

Here was C's dilemma. He tried, but encountered some problems. Here's what he said:

I struggle to put on condoms.

I've tried by myself
and I can't do it half the time.

I have quite bad manual dexterity
I've looked at the instructions and I'm still a bit clueless.

Any tips?

I did a little searching on the Internet and it didn't take long for me to get a clue what might be the source of C's troubles. It seems there's quite a bit of dialog on the Internet about uncircumcised men and their struggles to use condoms. I emailed C back and, yes, turns out he's uncircumcised.

So, C, you are not alone. You can probably stop worrying that you have "bad manual dexterity". It turns out, many condoms are made with a "one size fits all" mentality, at least in the sense that condoms work much better for circumcised men than uncircumcised men. To top things off, the directions on the condom box are usually written with the circumcised man in mind.

As near as I can tell, an uncircumcised man's foreskin determines how well or easily a condom fits. I read stories about men with a lot of foreskin or very tight foreskin that had extreme problems with putting on a condom. Although I can't find the link again, I even read one story where the problems were so severe, one man elected to get circumcised as an adult and was very happy with the result.

I would never tell someone to get circumcised just so they could wear a condom. There are compelling arguments for both circumcision and and uncut penis. I read on one forum where a uncircumcised man asked advice about this problem and one woman simply suggested he get cut. That really pissed me off.

But, I'm getting off track. The point here is to help C find a way to get comfortable putting on and using a condom.

Let's start with this basic video, how to put on a condom. It doesn't seem to be specific for uncut men but, hey, there is a banana. And it can't hurt.

The first advice I came across was to retract the foreskin before putting on the condom. Another tip was to put water-based lube in the reservoir tip of the condom, on the inside. The point is to increase sensations and to help put the condom on. Read more here. and a short, but sweet tip here.

It all sounds simple, almost too simple. The more I read, the more I found that some men still have troubles even when pulling back their foreskin.

Here's another tip that really makes sense. Don't just grab a box of condoms at the grocery store and hope they fit. Try different brands, sizes and types until you find one that works for you. Some sites suggested extra long condoms, long condoms with a snug fit, condoms with extra girth part way up the shaft. Although there was never really any solid conclusion reached, this site had the best discussion I read on the subject. Keep scrolling down to read comments from men that deal with these same issues.

I also highly recommend this article from condom man. It's a good, step by step set of instructions specifically for the uncut.

Still, I keep going back to the thing where I have no penis of my own. My husband is cut so he's not a lot of help either. Well, not with this subject.

So, I need the help of uncut men out there. (Even women who've known an uncut penis intimately might have some good ideas.) What kind of advice can you give C? So, speak up. Give us your stories, your tips, your favorite condom brands.

A 4-footer

The other day a package arrived for me. It was a round tube, about four feet long and several inches wide.

"It's a dildo," my husband guessed.

Often, when I get a package in the mail, it's a sex toy from Eden Fantasys. I haven't done one for a while, as I haven't blogged for a while, but I'm a sex toy reviewer for that company. In exchange for free toys I write reviews for them. (If you are interested in learning more, ask me.)

Even before I looked at it, I was pretty sure the package wasn't from Eden Fantasys. I was pretty sure it was from AllPosters.com. I'd ordered this print of Kissing on VJ Day - Times Square - May 8th, 1945. I've been wanting to do some decorating in our bedroom and I'm going for a romantic theme.

"It's not a dildo," I told him. "It's a poster."

"It might be a dildo."

"A 4-foot long dildo?" I asked?

"Might be."

I opened the package and alas, it was not a 4-foot long dildo. Now that would make a decorating statement. And romantic? Oh, boy.

Priorities

I want pleasure. I want it now.

I want wet. Sigh. Moan. Writhe. Release.

But first I will give pleasure. First I explore your sweet skin. Your velvet softness.

I take a little taste. My tongue flicks out, licks the smooth helmet of your tip. I slowly circle the taut ridge.

You sigh.

A little taste turns into more. My pleasure is forgotten. My pleasure is your pleasure.

I work you around in my mouth, spreading wetness. I find a rhythm, pulling you in, deeper, deeper, deeper. You move in and out of my mouth smoothly.

I begin to feel it. I am tingly. I am lubricated.

I moan, a little, around your swollen skin. I wiggle my hips, a little, sway side to side.

You have not touched me, not even once.