Variety, the spice of ... oh, you get it

I've made no secret of what I like in bed. I like to have my husband diddle with my girly bits with his fingers until I cum. I like to suck his cock. After that, I like to get fucked hard and fast.

In one way, it's an accurate description. But mostly, it's way over simplified.

This is not a comprehensive list of what goes on in the bed of dirty filthy princess and hard husband. It's not a step-by-step primer. First, followed by, then, after, finally – ahhhhhh. That's just not how it works.

First off, it leaves off all the kissing and nuzzling and touching. I love skin-to-skin contact. For me, my husband doesn't have to touch me directly on the clit to have pleasurable sensations run through my body.

Just his hand, rubbing across my lower back makes me shiver in anticipation. When his hands roam my body, my hip, my shoulders, my ass, my everywhere, it makes me wet.

Kissing is another key component. I love kissing, everything from deep, probing French kisses to soft lip-to-lip touching. And kissing shouldn't be limited to two lips! Personally, I especially loved to be kissed on the neck, forehead, chest, breasts, stomach, lower back, hands and fingers. In fact, there aren't many places that I would NOT want to be kissed.

Although Chad and I do have a certain rhythm that works for us, sex doesn't play out the same way each time. Taking the same steps each and every time wouldn't make for good sex, it would make for a deep rut.

Sex isn't the kind of thing for which you should always know what is coming next. Some of our sexist, strongest orgasm producing moments have happened when one or both of us does something unexpected.

Yes, I like to orgasm before I get fucked. But that doesn't mean I never get fucked before I orgasm.

Yes, I like when husband uses his fingers on me. But sometimes I purposely delay that moment by sucking his cock first. The longer I wait, the more anticipation builds before he even touches me.

I like it when Chad fucks me in one position for a while, then asks me to go back to sucking his cock. I like it when he uses his fingers inside me and then switches back to stroking my clit. I like it when I start out on my knees, kneeling before him, and then switch to the cliffhanger, hanging my head over the edge of the bed, taking his cock in my mouth.

I like tender sex and rough sex. I like to be spanked and tenderly nuzzled. I want to be called a whore and told how much I am loved. Sometimes I like a quicky. Some days I just can't get enough and ask him for more diddling after he's fucked me good and hard.

I wouldn't want to eat the same food every day. I'd grow weary of the same conversation, over and over. I'd get really tired of wearing the same thing all the time.

In the same way, why would I want the same kind of sex over and over?

Laughing feels good

A few months ago we adopted a 1 1/2 year-old German shepherd. Just like our cats, he's one of the family. He sleeps on his doggie bed on the floor next to our bed every night.

This Sunday afternoon Chad and I had a perfectly lazy day. We were able to do our favorite thing - just lay around and snuggle.

Of course, after a while, the snuggling turned into some groping. It wasn't long before I was kneeling between Chad's knees, pleasuring his stiff cock. I looked up at him, laying back on his pillow, eyes shut, enjoying every second.

I was taking my time, savoring the growing tingly feeling in my mona. I knew the longer I played with him, the more that feeling would grow.

I was making quite a bit of noise: slurps, moans, pops of released suction. But then I noticed another noise that wasn't coming from me or my husband. Without taking my mouth off Chad's cock, I swiveled my head for a look.

Our dog, who is tall enough to lay his head on the bed from a standing position, was investigating our activity on the bed. Sniff, sniff, sniffsniffsniff. He was trying to figure out just what it was that we were doing.

This was the first time he'd ever been in the same room with us while we got busy - we usually lock him out pre-nookie. It's a good thing we were in the middle of the bed instead of the edge elst someone might have gotten a cold, wet nose where they didn't want one.

I still had my mouth on Chad's cock. I tried to keep my rhythm up, stroke, stroke, along his shaft.

This only made our big puppy more curious. Sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff. Sssssssssssssssssssniff.

I couldn't help it, I started laughing around my husband's cock. Chad was laughing too.

So I gave up. I jumped up and led the dog out of the room. As soon as he was safely out in the hallway I quickly went back in the bedroom and shut the door on his cute, inquisitive face. I loves my dog but I loves my sex too.

When I got back to the bed I asked Chad how it felt when I was laughing around his cock.

"It felt good, actually," he said.

You heard it here ladies. Laugh all you want. It feels goooooooood.

'The best sex lasts minutes or even seconds'

So, I have another reader question:

I was listening to my friends Hristiyans podcasts on foreplay and he said that most woman do not like actual intercourse to last more than 15 minutes (of course a generalization) and that the best sex lasts minutes or even seconds.

Basically, he was saying if your foreplay is good intercourse won't last long.

I remember you saying you liked to orgasm before you were penetrated, do many women feel this way?

Do many women want intercourse to last a long time?

Are womans pussies usually sore after sex or is it only if the guy is huge and the woman wasn't dripping wet when he penetrated her?

Well, you already said it but I have to repeat it. I think saying that most women do not like intercourse to last more that 15 minutes is definitely a generalization. I can only say what I like and what I have heard from other women.

I do think, however, that your friend is on the right track. I'd alter it a bit to say: If foreplay is good, intercourse doesn't have to last as long.

I do like to orgasm before I am penetrated, yes. And I think there are lots of other women out there that like it too. Beyond that, I think there are lots of women who could benefit from it.

A woman typically needs more time to “warm up” for sex. That's where foreplay comes in. When I orgasm before penetration, it prepares me for intercourse and makes succeeding orgasms easier to achieve and stronger.

So here's what your friend is talking about: If I've just had some amazing foreplay that includes multiple orgasms I don't need extended fucking to cum some more. I'm all primed so successive orgasms pour out of me pretty quickly. It typically doesn't take very long for me to have two or three more orgasms during intercourse.

Personally, that's the way I like it. Plenty of foreplay. Plenty of orgasms before penetration. Finally, hard and fast fucking to finish it off. I'd say even 15 minutes is pretty long. My husband and I spend a lot of time in bed, but only a few minutes of it is fucking.

That's not to say it should be that way every time or that every woman likes it that way. While I have multiple orgasms, some women say they have one strong orgasm after which they are done for the night.

As for your final question about soreness, there is no reason for a woman to be sore after sex. I have, on very few occasions, felt sore after sex. Once in a while, after a quickie, I've felt a little sore. And, after a particularly long session of pussy abuse, I might feel somewhat sore. But that's a good kind of sore.

For the most part, if she feels sore, something isn't being done right. She wasn't given enough time before penetration, for example. Or, as you put it, “the woman wasn't dripping wet when he penetrated her”.

Now I want to turn it over to other people. What are your thoughts on this?

Do you (or your partner) like to orgasm before penetration? Do you think intercourse needs to last a long time? What about sore pussy?

Go.

Like warm Jello

I was thinking about the difference between giving myself and orgasm and having my skillful husband bring me to bliss.

I know there are some women that can give themselves more than one orgasm. I've read about marathon masturbation sessions that really blow my mind - and I'm sure theirs.

I can identify with multiple orgasms when I'm not in the driver's seat. On the other hand, by myself I'm more of a one-hit wonder.

There's only one time in my life that I've brought myself to more than one orgasm in a row. I forced myself to two orgasms a total of one time. Impressive eh?

I know it's physically possible to stretch my limits much further than that, I just don't seem to have it in me. Patience. Perseverance. Stick-to-it-iveness.

The other night, Chad was working the night shift. I was home alone, catching up on some reading on a few blogs - even re-reading quite a few of my old entries. When I went to bed I needed release.

I hooked my right leg over my favorite pillow, spread my legs and began to touch myself. I could feel pleasure building, building. It grew in me like tension but it was anything but frustrating.

I intentionally slacked off each time I got too close to the edge. I wanted to last and last.

In the way, way back of my head I was thinking about, for once, pushing my limits. Why shouldn't I go for that number two a second time?

But when that moment finally came, I didn't even try to keep going. My noodle arms flopped to my sides and my body melted into the bed like warm Jello.

For me, right then, one was more than enough. I fell asleep smiling.

Intelectual vs. body, mind and soul

If you've been a reader here for any length of time, you know I checked out of blogging for a while. I went from a part time job to working full time as the editor of a small time newspaper - a big career move for me.

Life's starting to get on more of an even keel now. I'm feeling the urge to get back to blogging, something that I've always enjoyed.

Looking back on that stressful period, I know our sex life suffered as well. Even when our opposite shift schedules weren't at odds, it was sometimes hard to get in the mood. It was too easy to just go to sleep. Heck, I didn't even keep my legs shaved half the time so it was pretty hard to go for opportunities for spontaneous sex.

Chad was understanding. He knew I really was exhausted and stressed out. Sometimes he was almost too understanding.

We talked about it occasionally. We needed to make sex a priority. We both wanted more sex. We just couldn't seem to find the time or the energy.

That's not to say we haven't had sex in the last five months. We have.

But it felt like intellectual sex, not body mind and soul sex. My brain was in it, but my body was dragging behind.

It was like, "OK sweetie. My legs are shaved. We're both home. Let's have sex."

I knew we needed to have sex, I knew we would enjoy it and I knew it was important. But I didn't feel ravenously hungry for sex. Once we got started, I felt the pleasure. When we finished, I felt the release and the connection. But it was hard to get there.

Just as I recently got my urge to start blogging back, I've got my mojo back. Just a week or so ago I was blogging while I waited for my husband to wake up after a night shift. After reading a bit and writing a bit, I realized my mona had a urgent, tingly message for me.

I showered, shaved and slipped into bed, naked. I snuggled up to Chad's back and enjoyed just being close to him. And yet, I felt the need to wake him up, too. So I slipped my arm around him and freed his cock.

He reacted just the way I hoped he would. He rolled over on his back and put his arm around me, rubbing his hands firmly over my body in a way that told me he was as hungry as I was.

It was amazing sex, made even more wonderful by the fact that my desire was back. It was body, mind and soul sex.

Manly man

This video is hilarious! It's not really about sex except that it addresses that whole issue of men feeling comfortable showing affection to other men.

Watch:

How To Give A Great Man To Man Hug